A dear member of your family has succumbed to an illness, and now you have the daunting task of planning their funeral. In the midst of your planning, you are reminded that some people who you and your immediate family are currently feuding with will likely be attending the service. How can you buffer a conflict during an occasion that should solely be used to memorialize your loved one? Make an effort to orchestrate a funeral service that will be welcoming to all and that will not focus on any outside issues.
Address The Issue
Even if you have come to the conclusion that the arguing is not worth it and that all of the memorial attendees should be there to honor the recently departed, you cannot vouch for the others and how they may act during the ceremony. Although you may not wish to speak to the people who may be problematic, it is best to gently address the disagreement and your hopes that feelings can be put aside during the memorial.
Send a memo to the people that focuses on the memorial service, the meeting place where everyone will congregate beforehand, the way that the service will unfold, and any plans that you have made for a reception. Briefly and kindly state that you hope that all ill feelings will be put aside for the day. Let the recipients know that you are well aware that the deceased would have appreciated each and every person to attend their service and that you would like to honor this.
Be Cordial And Welcoming To Everyone
If you are the main person who is planning the service, you have the power to arrange the seating where the memorial is taking place. Split up the attendees so that the ones who you and the others have a rift with are sitting on one side of the room and your family is sitting on the other side. Don't make it obvious that there is a problem by singling out the others. Make sure that there will be plenty of other guests seated in each section.
When it comes to welcoming everyone to the service, do your best to put on a brave front and address each person in a cordial manner. When the people you have an issue with walk through the door, quickly dismiss the negative feelings that you have. Welcome these guests in the same manner as everyone else and try to focus solely on the task at hand, which is honoring the person who has passed away.